I love it when....

• I say "where's your nose?" and you stick your finger inside it
• You say shoes "soos"
• Your binky brings you sheer joy, and how you prefer the dark blue one
• You blow kisses to the grocery store clerk when we leave
• You spend more time yelling at Charlie to leave the kitchen when you eat, then you do eating
• That painful screech comes out of your mouth when you see a bird
• You hug everyone, and all your stuffed animals too
• You clap after I sing, the only applause I'll ever get!
• You bite the tips off of your crayons and then come to me to scrape your tongue
• You celebrate at the sight of your toothbrush
• You run to the mirror when we call you handsome
• I rub your back at bedtime and you tuck both arms tightly under your belly
• You race at full speed down the hall when daddy and I pick you up from school
• I realize you've been recording what I say and do, and now playing it back for me
• You spit on flowers when I say to smell them
• You growl at dogs
• I can hear you and daddy laughing in the other room
• You lay in your crib and talk to yourself before anyone comes in
• You grab my hand to walk
• You dance and somehow get us dancing, to "Old MacDonald Had a Farm" on the fridge DJ
• You group hug me and daddy
  

Live in the moment (s)

Ok I knew it had been a while since my last post, but February?! I have moments throughout the week where I tell myself "ok I have to post this" but then another week goes by and another. Now proven its been months. Some are the key milestones, most of which I've now forgotten. Others are the "I am THAT mom" moments I swore I'd never.... And others just great times captured on film yet to be posted.

Highlights of my last few months:

- the legalization of my nephew, Samuel

- a couple's weekend, time alone with my hubby

- countless days and nights spent with friends and family

- watching Breck grow stronger and taller and more intelligent as his curiosity soars

- bickering and laughing with Dave, sometimes bickering about something so irrelevant, we just end up laughing

- keeping the balance between my 3 jobs- my career, mamahood, marriage

Mamahood is hard and exhausting yet I wouldn't trade it for the moon. The toughest moments sometimes crack me, then Breck will crack me up. It tests your spirit, your marriage, your independence, your patience. But if I've learned anything in the last 18 months its this: life is too short, with much more meaning now that I have a son. Too short to always be clean and tidy. Too short to stay mad. Too short to have everything planned out. Too short to worry that tonight we ate the worst frozen fish sticks for dinner.

As I told Dave last night, being a parent is the hardest job on the planet. And for as much stress as it can put on a relationship, for as little alone time or as little sleep as you never get, I wouldn't change it for a second.

Live in the moment. Be spontaneous. Let your house get dirty. Let your kids leave the house with a crusty nose. And always know that in these moments, there is indeed another mom doing the exact same thing.

No, move, no

Cute, scary and concerning all in one moment- the day Breck told ME "no"

I was giving Breck a bath and, as he always has been, he likes to stand and play in the tub. No sitting. But he's also into playing pretend. So the other night in the bath, Breck wanted to fill his plastic cup with water, set it on the ledge and then stir the water (a full cup of water) with his fingers. Knowing that one these times the water will spill over the tub and on the floor (something once done he'd find amusing), I decided to hold the cup while he stirred with his hand. This is what he did:

Grabbed the cup immediately with his hand, used the other to push mine away while repeating over and over "no, no, no, move, no, move!" 

Of course I had to attempt to hold the cup a dozen times to see if he'd react the same way. Each time it was the same response, "no, no, no, move, no, move!"

Cute and funny? Yes.

Scary? Indeed. 1) because he obviously learned this from me and 2) because we've entered the next phase.

Let the adventure of language and expression begin!

Meeting Samuel

Today is one of the best days of my life- meeting Samuel. He is so precious. So tiny. So sweet. I miss him already.

Holding Sam brought back so many memories, reminding me just how fast time flies by. Just a year ago Breck was his size.

A month ago I boxed up all of Breck's things saddened that they'd just sit in storage because he'd grown so fast. Little did I know on that day, that Samuel would arrive, patiently awaiting all of those things. It felt so good to share them. I cant wait for Breck to meet Sam.

Hope. Optimism. Change.

January 20, 2009

Today marks a historic day with the election of our first Black President, Barak Obama.  I am proud to be a mom today. Proud to raise a son in a country with renewed hope for a better world. I can't wait to tell him the story about this day when he is older.  Its important that Breck see the world as it should be, where color and race and religion and sex do not create barriers. In so many ways we are all so different but today we are all so much the same. 

Can you hear him laughing?

Barb told me a quote the other day, "If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans"

Each day I try to get up with a new perspective on life- to be realistic in what can be accomplished. The days of daily list making and crossing are over. Only to realize that today, maybe, one thing gets done. And, thats a good day when it does.

I just found the list I made last night for today. Confirmation I have not embraced my own new perspective!

- Call 3 people at work to discuss this deadline (realization this is about a 2 hr task)

- Change Breck's dr appt (done!)

- Call Alaska Airlines about getting Breck a seat (I keep thinking about it)

- Buy dog food (Ballard is so far, and with Breck how do I carry both to the car)

- Pick up paint samples (ok, dreaming)

- Buy diapers & coffee (I'll pay for this tomorrow at 6am, better yet, send Dave)

- Write and send my new work contract (sadly, this will be done as an afterthought)

- Download and then upload Quicken (maybe next month!)

- Work on the new biz pitch (got in an hour, will do more between 6-10 tonight)

- Yoga (class as the wrong time)

Well, the day is half done and one thing checked. If I listen closely I can hear him laughing.

Making Christmas

I cant believe its almost Christmas. Reflecting back on last year with Breck still so tiny has made me realize what a difference a year makes. Last year, Breck was bundled tight so we could go for a cold morning walk on Christmas day. This year he's practically walking, and all those clothes now packed in a box. Christmas with a baby is so much different. I look back on my favorite moments and memories as a kid and want nothing more than to create a collection of those for Breck. Its been such an exciting and yet surprising December. We bought our tree and decorated it. I love decorating the tree with Dave. I love that he gets into it, even if it might be just for me. I love that we can laugh where most people might get frustrated. I love that he compliments how good the lights look when I'm done with my OCD stringing process. And I love that we talk about the ornaments as we hang them up. There are a lot of things I cant remember but the magic of an ornament is that each has a story, and I can recall all of them. We did our 2nd annual trip to Swansons to see the Reindeer and the trains. I love this photo of Breck and Dave peeking thru to see the train set. I know next year Breck will be that much more excited. We went to the Special Santa event that Erin does. She's my inspiration. Another 2nd annual tradition, going to see Santa with the cousins. Erin and Catherine and I met in downtown Seattle with Ryan, Nicole, Megan and Breck. Dave met us this year too. While Santa was a nice man, Breck and Nicki both screamed. Someday that will the photo Breck laughs at when he's 18. Then my own tradition- 2 years now- making my mom's peppermint bark recipe.  Dave designed me a cool label and I packaged them up all fun. Felt good to make a gift, package it pretty and send to our distant relatives. And then finally, the snow fall. We've had record snowfall for about 18 years. Its triggered every emotion. First the anticipation and excitement. Then stress. Then joy. Then boredom. Then innocence. Now acceptance. 

Its still snowing out. 4 days of snow. 12 straight hours of constant snowfall. 2 failed attempts at shoveling our front entry. 1 Christmas packed full of lifelong memories.

I am thankful for the snow to give us the best gifts of all- time and a changed perspective.